Dear God

God

I know as a human being we all make mistakes. We all do things on
impulse sometimes that we may or may not believe to be wrong. I believe
in good and bad choices and I want to ask for your guidance in making
those right decisions.

I do believe in forgiveness if there is real sorrow, and pain and regret
for doing the things people do.

I ask for forgiveness for everyday human things I do, and for my family,
my friends, and my love Rob.

I ask God to watch over me please, and my loved ones.

Amen.
Sam
--sammysamz

Dear Diary

Its been a while, and I need to release my thoughts.. I have a bunch of
jumbled images and ideas rummaging through my brain. Please bear with
me. I've been having some trouble with writing a song. Maybe I need some
inspiration.. but what kind? I feel lost when I don't write a song for a
while. It makes me sad. Sometimes I feel like a failure even though I
know inside im not. I just feel strongly about my music, and I don't
like not writing. I think it may be because of the lack of beats I have.
I am a unique writer, and I can't write a song to just any beat. It
needs to be extra intense, extra crazy, extra dark, and especially deep.
I just don't know.
My soul is searching for that key to my brain.....the perfect beat...

Sammy Sam
--sammysamz

Sick and Twisted...

Can you believe that a doctor gets paid, a large amount of money, to
destroy a person's face?

Literally.....

How can you give money to a plastic surgeon to destroy your face?
Celebrities are disgusting. They posses a very strange way of thinking.

The mind starts to imagine this disturbing physical image that they
believe is how they see themselves. They see some sort of being that
they try so hard to be, yet never seem satisfied in the end. Its more
like the beginning again. Can the ending result ever truly satisfy them?
Will they ever reach it? Aren't they miserably mad at themselves?
Do they drown into this painful hole of weakness and denial?

I suppose so...

And then there's the doctors. Satisfying their every sick and twisted
desire. They watch these humans morph into demented clay dolls, by the
works of their very hands. They completely remove themselves from what
used to be a spirit. There used to be a living, breathing feeling. The
feeling's lost. Now its just a blind habit, feeding the hands that so
eagerly wait for their desires. Who cares right? As long as they get
their fair share?

How sick.

The money

The pain... The regret...
...

*...Sick and Twisted...*

-Sam
--sammysamz

Attack of The Squirrel!

--sammysamz

Blonde or Brunette?

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Sam n O.C "Weather Forecast"

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Sam n O.C "Chocolate"

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Pillow Thoughts..

I've come to the realization that most people want what they can't have,
and once they have it, they destroy it. Why? When I finally receive
something I desire, I treasure it whole heartedly. Instead of thinking
about their own needs, they need to be caring about how other people
feel.

Why do women go for men who are liars, cheaters, unavailable, jerks,
etc...??? Why not keep that real dude, with a brain, who has goals, and
ideas, and a heart that's warm? I don't get it. Same applies to men.

Too much evil in the world.

Goodnight everyone
-Sammy
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Holiday Spirit..

Once the weather starts to get even a hint of cool in the air, I always
start to think about the holidays. I am a holiday gal. I like
celebrating, and being in the spirit of happiness, and togetherness with
the people I love. I know we should all do that more often then just
during the holiday season, but if it is not possible, then I rely on the
holidays for that comfort.
There's many different kinds of comfort that I receive on the holidays.
There is comfort in the food, the drinks, and the desserts I eat with my
family. I love baking on the holidays. It makes me feel like my
Christmas will be just like the Christmas' in the stories I read as a
child. Hot cocoa, coffee, tea, egg nog, apple cider, and of course beer
and liquor. Haha.. There's also the music. I love putting on music that
suits the holiday. Fun music filled with laughter and cheer. It just
brings me back to when I was a young girl getting excited about
Thanksgiving and Christmas with my two sisters.
I have had really rough holidays as well growing up. I spent
Thanksgiving and Christmas in a NY shelter one year. Thanksgiving was
spent with the workers of the shelter. They cooked food for all the
residents at the shelter. My sisters, my mother, and I, all stood in
line and received our thanksgiving dinner. I wondered what my other
family members were doing, and where my Dad was that year as well. I was
thankful for the plate of food I had received though. For Christmas that
year, we were given a black garbage bag filled with hand me downs from
kids and familys who donated random used things to shelters for poor
families such as clothes, slippers, sneakers, books etc. My sisters and
I sat down together, with my mother, excited to go through the black
bag. We sought out anything that may fit us, or seemed cool to have. I
was appreciative that I got something at all for Christmas that year. It
was a year I will never forget.
Although I've been through good and bad holiday's throughout my years
growing up, I still hold this hopeful spirit in my heart and soul. I
only wish to give my future family a wonderful holiday year after year
when I get older. I have had numerous experiences in life that made me
greatful for life, and the little things that have graced my path
growing up. Its not about what you do, or where you are....Its about who
you are with...

You never know where you may be this upcoming holiday season, but
wherever you are, just thank God that your alive.

Take Care,

Sammy
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Fuck Kanye

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Sad

Im so overwhelmed with life. I know I know, its typical right? 21 years
old figuring out where to go, and what to do...Except I know what I
want, and where I want to go. I want to do music. I can't stand anything
else except music. I want to spend life traveling and touring and
performing. I feel like that dream is so far sometimes. Im afraid of
losing it. I know my soul, and my heart won't, but where do I go? What
do I do? I have no guidance. I am broke half the time, because im 21
trying to go to school, work a bullshit job, and do most of the shit I
want, by myself. I struggle struggle struggle. Poor poor poor. Ugh. Why
can't the good people be prosperous, not the grimmy stingy people. I
know If I was in a place where I wasn't struggling, and I had all the
things I needed, id be there to help whoever needed it. Especially the
people who stood by me, and was there for me allll the times I didn't
have shit. No food for days, no place to go, no parents to guide me. I
relied on my friends. I love you all and im here for you no matter
what.
Today was a sad day.
Maybe tomorrow will be better.
God Bless Everyone

1 love,
Sammy
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Sent from my T-Mobile Sidekick®

September Weather

Breathe in, and then out.. Are you outside right now? Well if you are,
then you know that once you inhaled, you smelled the brisk and fresh
September air.

So today, I walked outside towards the train, and it was wonderful. I
love the feeling when the air just begins to get cool. Its warm enough
for a t-shirt, yet chilly enough for a hoodie. I love it. September is a
cool month. Now that I am in school, it feels even better. September
always reminded me, and probably many other people, about school
shopping, new clothes, new classes, and great anticipation towards the
holidays. I love the holidays too.

I decided that today I feel good, and its a great morning all because of
the weather. I was too tired to wake up, and would have rather been in
school or home on a work day, but the minute I walked out the door, my
attitude changed. Sweater weather is my favorite. I was born in the
middle of winter so maybe that's why. In any event, that's what I love
about this morning. haha...September memories truely are my favorite to
remember. I hope everyone has a september memory too, and if you do,
share it with me. :-)

I also hope everyone has a good day today.... in September.
Take care
Sammy
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